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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My Bone to Pick with "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

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Audrey Hepburn may be remembered as the classiest women of all time, but that aside, as far as I remember, she plays a pretty annoying character in Breakfast At Tiffany's.

And don't say I hate romantic movies because I'm a man. That's just stereotyping. The reason why I didn't like Breakfast at Tiffany's was because having seen Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady previously, I expected far less gold-digging behaviour on Audrey's part in a movie with her in it.

Make no mistake, she acts well and is pretty, and talented too, but to me the fault may not be with Hepburn but with the role she plays.

It's a very hard to understand movie for a young man. I could barely figure out what was going on most of the time, apart from the Cat and the stereotypical angry Japanese dude played by Mickey Rooney. Audrey Hepburn may have been made famous by this movie, but for some reason I didn't like it. There's probably a lot of undertones my innocent mind of 18 years raised as a gentleman missed, but that's not the only thing I found annoying. The writer dude who courts Holly (Hepburn's character) assumes that he "owns" Holly because he loves her. This smacks of patriarchal ideology to me. I expected Hepburn to be a stronger female lead in this movie than what actually occurs in the film. And the whole glamour thing is alien to me. Considering I barely spend much money on clothes it's easy to see why this might be the case with my interpretation of the film.

I've probably missed the point of the movie completely, but I expected the story to be clearer and more comprehensible than what I got when I came to see this movie at FilmBuffery Club in school.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Two Short Book Reviews: 11th March 2008

I've found some particularly good books to review, and here they are:

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Odd and the Frost Giants is the best Neil Gaiman book I've read in years. His children's fiction ranks very highly alongside J.K. Rowling's in quality, yet he has a very different style, using Norse mythology to weave together a heartwarming tale of a crippled boy who sets out on an adventure to Asgard, but not without help. Gaiman makes the historical harshness of Viking lore appropriate for children, not by censoring himself or talking down to his readers, but simply by pointing out just how silly some elements of Norse life were. A good read for little warriors of all ages.

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The Stolen Child is a book I mentioned on my Ten Obscure Books You'll Love list that I posted on this blog earlier on, but the book is so good I'll give it another treatment. Two boys, one Changeling who becomes a Human, and one Human who becomes a Changeling, both lead very different lives after they are switched, and nostalgia for the lives they once had is contrasted with the realities of growing up in the real world. Faeries and their place in the real world is threatened by a loss of the old ways, as childhood comes to an end. Hardly a major analysis of a very deep and philosophical Fantasy novel which probably deserves to have more detail examined, but it now sits among my favorite books on my shelf, forever to be cherished as a classic in my eyes.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Something is rotten in Denmark

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/catalogue-of-complaint-as-ikea-walks-all-over-danes/2008/03/07/1204780065667.html

This is terrible. Reading Fight Club makes you guilty enough about resorting to buy IKEA furniture because you can't afford the fancy stuff.

But this is in a league of its own in cultural insensitivity. I just assembled a big fat BILLY bookshelf from IKEA the very day I read this in the paper. Yet every minute I was in the shop, the specter of the news item was troubling me.

- Jacob Martin
AKA Jake of All Trades

Friday, March 7, 2008

Two wrong numbers make a right

I got a new mobile phone. This can only mean one thing: Recycled phone numbers.

Basically, I found out firsthand how wrong a wrong number can get, to have it resolved by a second wrong number call.

The first was an SMS written by a woman who had been dumped by her boyfriend via SMS. When the phone suddenly rang, playing the new Master of Puppets ringtone I had put on it via USB, little did I know that the shock of what I was about to encounter was far greater than the shock of Metallica suddenly blasting from one's pocket at full volume.

After I read this masterpiece of foul-mouthery, this tour de force of threats of bodily harm, I immediately deleted it from my phone. Somehow I regret doing this, but with a curious mother wondering who called me I had to act fast. To put it simply, it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

Then today, some chap called me looking for a bloke called "Luke". I asked him if he or somebody he was calling on behalf of was responsible for the colourful and eyebrow raising text message I recieved yesterday, after I heard the screaming obscenities of a woman in the background.

In this man's despair, he bluntly put it: "Oh... SHIT!".

Before he hung up, I heard the woman scream "FUCKING KID!".

I know this, I probably wouldn't have liked the events that would have happened if I pointed out the text message went to an 18 year old schoolboy. Oh well, the Universe sorts things out in ways you can't imagine.

- Jacob Martin
AKA Jake of All Trades

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Ask not for whom the dice roll, they roll for thee

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2008/03/04/local_news/doc47cd95a012996795923538.txt

Gary Gygax is dead. Yes, he created Dungeons and Dragons, and yes, I never knew him in person. But I have played 3.5 edition of D&D and I loved it.

Is it possible to mourn a man's death never having known him in person?

For me, this isn't something everybody will mourn about, like what happened to Heath Ledger's death and subsequent media circus. Gygax will probably not get a fancy funeral (but he deserves one) and most people I know don't even know his name or what he did for the Fantasy genre games market.

I did not know him, but I played some version of the game that he gave life to. It's like how you can love an author having never met them in person, but you know them from the books they wrote. 3.5 edition D&D was not made by Gygax, but if it wasn't for him, D&D would not exist.

Unlike Heath Ledger, there are no suspicious circumstances to his death. He will get no media circus picking his bones. And this enables the right people to mourn his passing, not out of socially acceptable pity, but out of genuine emotion.

This man's contribution to Fantasy inspired me to write in the genre, and develop my research further than the Monster Manual to see where the many legendary beasts came from. I came across the game at a time in my life where my imagination was prepared to be sparked by something, something I could interact with, not a videogame, but a game purely powered by the imagination. And I thank you for the new direction you set my life in, Gygax. Without you I'd still be writing copy-cat LOTR dreck that I was working on in Year 8 High School.

I never knew you, Gygax, but I will still mourn your death, that came not at the hands of a Beholder or some monster like that, but a more mundane slaying from a medical condition. Maybe a Level 20 Necromancer cast a spell on you, I wouldn't be at all surprised. But it's odd, when you contemplate how simple and mundane the deaths of Fantasy writers and guardians of imagination are.

Terry Pratchett got Alzheimer's earlier this year. He's not dead yet, and is still useful, but we must remember that no mortal creator will live forever, and they must be cherished while they live. Gygax, you'll be rolling d20s in heaven, I know you're doing it right now, you lovable old geek-king.

- Jacob Martin
AKA Jake of All Trades

Sunday, March 2, 2008

There once was a man named Professor Wilhelm...

And I helped him set up his blog.

He'll be arguing with me over his blog posts occasionally. Consider him the alternative voice of my head. You can find his blog on the Interesting Links and Blogs toolbar.

That is all for now.

10 Obscure Books I Know You'll Love

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Sometimes a book looks at you with big puppy dog eyes like the dog in this picture, because it needs to be loved.

You know what I mean. Those old favorites you rescue from second hand bookshops in bulk so you can lend the extra copies to your friends, that they might love the books you love.

I personally have never done this myself, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So I bring you...

Ten Obscure Books I Know You'll Love


10: The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories by H.P. Lovecraft

Where in Shub-Niggurath's name are the H.P. Lovecraft fans in Australia?

Seriously, there's like, none, where I live. Kinokuniya in the Sydney CBD sells a small collection of Lovecraft paperbacks, yet whenever I see them I know Mr. Lovecraft is weeping in Heaven because Australians don't know who he is, much less read his books. Yes, the racism barrier in some of his stories makes it difficult to enjoy elements of his craft, but we all know the 1920s and 30s were not at all like To Kill A Mockingbird for many Americans. There was the fear of isolation, in a sea of change. The Depression made people unemployed, but also paranoid about anybody foreign who would take a job that was "rightfully theirs". This happened to Lovecraft, and I'm sorry to say the man had flaws. But who doesn't? Even people at my school say pretty racist stuff when nobody is looking. Ian Fleming had his sexism to shame him. Lovecraft's flaw was his now controversial views on the coloured people of the United States, as well as Asians and Native Americans.

This is no excuse for not reading him. He gives you a vision of a world where alien Gods so powerful that they make Humanity look like ants survive in the dark places of the world hidden from modern civilisation. This book I'm mentioning is still in print and reasonably easy to get hold of from Amazon.com or a well stocked bookshop.

9: The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brain Selznick

This book has gorgeous illustrations that pretty much recommends the book by itself, without me having to do much talking. A picture is worth a thousand words, as it were. This book is about an orphaned boy who finds an automaton, and the mystery of this invention is the focus of the book, as well as the strange toymaker and the girl he looks after. Do read it!

8: With The Light: Vol. 1 by Keiko Tobe

This is a Manga about Autism. Usually I don't recommend this much to people I don't know, because doing so implies I have Autism. I have a form of it, Asperger's Syndrome, but I am high-functioning and nothing like the autistic boy in this Manga in many ways, yet reading this was instrumental to my discovery of who I really am and why I think differently to other humans. It's set in Japan (duh, it's a Manga comic) but the themes it deals with are universal to any country's methods of dealing with autistic people. It presents a strong argument for autistics to be integrated into society rather than being shut away from it. Much more helpful in giving a good understanding of the condition than the abominable The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.

7: On the Road by Jack Kerouac

Not really an obscure book, but I wish more people my age read it so I could discuss it over tea and biscuits. It's one of those "becoming a man" must-read-when-you're-leaving-teenager-hood books. Needless to say it's a classic travelling book about the Real America. America as you see it today, in my mind, is Not Real America, because of what the government has done to ruin it. Still, America as it is now still has its own beauty, yet the spirit of Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty roaming the roads like madmen has forever been lost as shopping malls destroy the "Mom and Pop" businesses that remain from a by-gone age. All I can say is: CURSE YOU WAL-MART!

6: The Stolen Child by Keith Donahue

Whoa, I hear you say. A Fantasy book without knights and dragons? This is Urban Fantasy, buckaroo, and it's a dark horse to ride, my Imagination-irritated friends! If you like your Fairies of the Disney variety, read this book. Not because the Faeries of this book will live up to your saccharine poor excuse for Fey Folk memories of Disney pillaging Elfland to feed the entertainment industry, but for a reality check. Most people think that Faeries are twinkly and happy and just for girls who like pretty dresses. Well guess what? Real Faeries are NOT like that. They're so savage and inhuman I'm surprised they don't eat the babies they switch with Changelings. You think a Fantasy book can't teach universal themes? This one will punch you in the face with a story about leaving childhood, which is almost as traumatic and shocking as how leaving childhood really is for anyone. But that doesn't mean this book is a horror to read, it's so readable, it's SCARY!

5: Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore et al

People just don't understand why Heath Ledger's version of The Joker is actually scary compared to the original Batman movie version they remember from their childhood. Alan Moore delivers you a reason why the Joker is absolutely terrifying. His Watchmen is a book I would also recommend, but that's far less obscure than this under-appreciated
classic of Batman lore. This origin story for The Joker has since been written out of continuity by the DC Comics editors, but somehow I think that was a big mistake. I personally liked a more three dimensional Joker who wasn't just an evil clown who laughed at inappropriate times. Sometimes you almost agree with him in this story when he stops and argues about why madness is an acceptable way of dealing with modern life. Almost. And I would have liked a slightly different ending too, yet such is the power of Alan Moore that he makes you understand why he wrote it the way he did. It's just how the characters would really think.

4: Mort by Terry Pratchett

Another Fantasy offering, but this one is also significant for its treatment of one universal theme of Human experience: Death. Terry Pratchett made Death into a person you could love, in a way, for his strange outlook on life. Pratchett's interpretation of Death ranks as one of the most popular characters in the Discworld series of comic Fantasy novels. Why? Because take away the fact he's a skeleton, and you realise he's a man. A strange man indeed, but someone you can have sympathy for in a non-tragic way. You really want to root for Death, because this book proves that Blue Oyster Cult was right, Don't Fear The Reaper.

3: About a Boy by Nick Hornby

Nick Hornby in my opinion is one of the only living authors who bother to write popular fiction about men's issues such as responsibility, middle age, and why spending your life being nothing is no life at all. About a Boy, I believe, is Hornby's masterpiece. Not just because I love Nirvana and was interested in the period surrounding his death, but the unbiased way Hornby examines the nature of celebrity deaths, we think we understand celebrities and we feel sad when they die, but how many of us truly know the rich and the famous, really? How does a strange chain of events concerning a boy, his single mother, and an aging hipster come together in a thread of fate that unites people who wouldn't normally talk to each other, come to all tied loose ends when Kurt Cobain kills himself? You'll have to read it to find out. And before you declare me a spoiler monster, I haven't actually spoiled anything about the book at all. Just read it.

2: The Ode Less Traveled by Stephen Fry

Teaching kids about Poetry these days is a nightmare. Getting people interested in writing good Poetry is worse. Luckily, Stephen Fry comes to the rescue in a lovely, entertaining romp through a crash course in meter, spondee, rhyme, alliteration, the lot, and you'll love every minute of both his funny sense of humor and his helpful exercises (Stephen Fry does not tolerate lazy bones poets, do the exercises man!). Highly recommended for anyone interested (or vaguely interested) in an artform that too many people think is a "terrible secret" to practice. Conquer the English Language!

1: Train Man by Hitori Nakano

Lord Almighty, why have the people forsaken this brilliant book that has influenced my life so much it's chronic?

It's obscene that nobody I know has read, or even heard of, this book that has defined geek identity for me so well? This book will give even the most cynical geek and nerd hope that they too can find love in this crazy world, if they just open their eyes and see that somebody outside their room will love them for who they are?

Most people I know automatically discard the idea of reading it because it's about an Anime geek who finds love. Somehow "Anime" and "Geek finds love" translates to "bad book that's boring". I dare you, I really dare you naysayers, to open up your horizons, just like the Train Man in this book, and experience something you're not familiar with. Maybe you know some geek down the road who thinks no girl will ever love him, hence he drowns his sorrows in Sailor Moon cartoons. If you don't ever read this, at least give this book to that one geek who's lost hope in their life of finding a positive, two sided relationship that isn't with a character on a TV screen or a Manga comic. Just... try and bring some joy into their lives, mmkay?

- Jacob Martin
AKA Jake of All Trades