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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Loch Ness Monster: Found?

You know you want Nessie to be real as much as I do, and this new footage could prove it. Just imagine it. Nessie could make a comeback as Scotland’s biggest celebrity, and this could inspire other legendary creatures to come forward about their existence, possibly, Bigfoot will make more public appearances in light of this, and the Phoenix may well appear on Reality TV and immolate itself, rising from its ashes in the best publicity stunt since Shilpa Shetty’s Big Brother appearance. But Nessie is unlike other celebrities in that she (or he) is not human, and doesn’t get drunk at parties, forgetting to wear underpants. No, she has more taste than that. Could it be that she’s been masterminding a ration of appearances so that we never get sick of her? It sounds like the greatest public relations scheme a monster has ever come up with.

But there could be another reason why she is in hiding: The Dreaded Paparazzi. All those photographers trying to prove she exists must put her off public appearances, and it’s possible she is camera shy. Or, like another mythical creature of legend, Alan Moore, she doesn’t want to be a celebrity and wants to be left alone.

Hopefully people will do the right thing.

Sincerely, Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

I got a Hit Counter!

I got a Hit Counter, now I will be able to see your support for my blog in statistical form. It also means I will know if nobody visits at all, so I can decide if the blog needs new posts or new material if I haven't posted in a while.

Herge's Lawyers Cut Down Bill Leak (with litigation, not actual violence)

You may have heard that Herge's lawyers have stopped Bill Leak from depicting the Australian politician Kevin Rudd as the character Tintin, one of Herge's most loved characters.,20867,21823334-2702,00.html

If you haven't heard of this, here is the news weblink.

It's understandable that Herge's lawyers and owners of the copyright of Tintin would wish to do this, as Herge was a man who rarely wished to get into political squabbles, however much that he satirized the sheer silliness of such things in his work. I think what seems to be the problem at heart is that Herge may not have wanted his character Tintin to be used for political ideology which is commercialized by a newspaper. Sure, there's nothing wrong with that.

What it could lead to is much more concerning. This could lead to other comics characters being put on a sort of "do not parody" list that would limit artistic expression. Parodying Superheroes is a common and much loved way to satirize things and have fun with the Superhero comics genre to express social issues, but this could be a thing of the past in light of this. As long as the lawyers don't get too carried away, we should, and the lawyers should, recognise that as long as a good sense of humor and a respect for the original comics characters that are parodied is used, there shouldn't really be a problem.

But let us not go too far down the path of litigation, as it could limit our freedom to laugh through satire, and that would be a sad world to live in.

Sincerely, Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Jacob's Poems: Tribute to Alan Moore's Beard

This poem reflects on Alan Moore's beard, but moreso, the man behind it, a comics writer who is influential on the industry in ways you can't imagine. It is meant to immortalize both Alan Moore and his beard, as one cannot live without the other in the public imagination. There are several references to comics and graphic novels Alan Moore has written, so familiarity with his work will give better appreciation of this rhyming verse, here it is:

Tribute to Alan Moore’s Beard
A Poem by Jacob Martin

Gaze unto Alan Moore’s beard, and the beard gazes also
The sheer wild nature of it intrigues one more-so
One would normally think it weird
To witness, in follicular glory, such a beard
But behind the beard there is a man
Try to understand this if you can
He writes in the form of the Graphic Novel
His house and home are not hovels
He asks us, “Who Watches The Watchmen?”
You can begin to comprehend then
The tale of the Swamp Thing or the Vendetta of V
He’s a British national treasure, can’t you see?

He tells of Extraordinary Gentlemen
You simply cannot resist harking back when
You find out “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?”
Parting with Superman is such sweet sorrow
He knows the punch-line of The Killing Joke
And will not shy from a poke
At the character of the Man Who Has Everything
Or the forever shifting
Nature of Mogo, who does not socialize
And with this you begin to surmise
That Alan is Moore than a beard
And that his satire makes society geared
To change rigid class systems for the better
But it won’t make English rainstorms any less wetter…

Which brings me back to the beard
Which some people think looks weird
But first impressions often turn out bad
Take a second look and you’ll be glad
That you can see the man behind the beard
Although he is still a bit weird.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Short Story: The Rogue Re-Animator

This story is set in my invented world of the "Toonworld", where cartoons are real and live among mainstream humanity. The concept I came up with here is a sort of tweaked take on H.P. Lovecraft's "Herbert West: Reanimator", but this story is much more uplifting. It is the tale of a "mad artist" who takes the role of mad scientist, trying to resurrect Walt Disney as a living cartoon so that he can meet him, (and get permission to animate Disney's characters in living form as well). Here it is:

The Rogue Re-Animator
A “Penny Dreadful” Tale of the Toonworld
By Jacob Martin

“So we begin, our dark work in the night, but with vision and genius will bring light” said a man in an artist’s smock. It was unusual for mad scientists to wear artist’s smocks. Usually the animation of life was considered to involve a dead body and nasty, sharp tools, unholy liquids, and if they were lucky enough with the weather, a thunderstorm to complete the madman’s sinister plan. Not so with Mr. Curwen. He did not work with dead bodies at all. Simply drawings, cartoons of people long dead. For he was an Animator of a different sort. He did not give the illusion of life and motion to static drawn images. He gave them true life.

“Are you sure Walt Disney would want us to be bringing him back from the dead in cartoon form, Mr. Curwen?” said an assistant, surprisingly without a hunchback and unusually in an assistant of this line of work, handsome enough to be considered “date material”. Sure, he couldn’t exactly tell potential girlfriends what his job was entirely in the realms of truth, as “I bring dead people to life in cartoon form” is rarely a good pickup line. Unless the girl you’re trying to impress is a Goth girl, in which case, it might be an asset to the relationship.

“Sure he would, do you have any idea how much money his company is raking in? He’d be a fool not to agree!” said Mr. Curwen. “Don’t you see Igor… I mean Reggie, this is a historic moment in science!”

“It’s a historic moment in how to spend a Wednesday night, that’s what it is” said Reggie. “Beats watching TV I suppose. However I should be earning overtime for this”

“Fine, you can have your overtime pay, just get the machine ready”

“What machine?” said Reggie, “I never knew anything about a machine, unless you mean this digital art computer package that’s in a box over in the corner”

“I don’t know how to install it, ok?” said Mr. Curwen. “I’m an artistic genius, not a computer wizard”

“You say you can create cartoon characters in living, breathing form, yet you don’t know how to use a digital art computer program?”

“Oh shut up, before I outsource your job to India!” snapped Mr. Curwen.

Reggie unpacked the box, and started putting together the computer. It was a Mac.

After he installed the scanner and the life sized printer, he came across an accessory that looked like a helmet with electrodes on it.

“What might this be?” said Reggie.

“That,” said Mr. Curwen, “Is what’s going to make this process work. The machine that makes living cartoon characters is powered by the imagination. And it takes a heck of a lot of imagination to make this work, let me tell you. I’ve got such an imagination, however this model of machine is designed in a way that requires little distraction in the animation process”

“So you want me to put this obvious deathtrap on my head?”

“Heavens no, it’s not a deathtrap, I’ve worked with machinery like this before. You simply stick it on your head and imagine things, and your cartoon person becomes a living, breathing, animated work of art. So far the tests I’ve done allowed me to create various stick figure people. I was able to do this because no copyright exists on most stick figure cartoon characters, whereas nobody has the rights to animate characters like Mickey Mouse in living form yet”

“So that’s why you want to bring Disney back to life?”

“Partly” said Mr. Curwen. “Mostly I just wanted to meet the man”

“If I’m not going to wear this helmet, who will?”

“My niece”

“You wouldn’t…”

“She won’t be hurt by it, and besides, I’m babysitting her for my sister, I have to keep her occupied somehow”

“Fair enough, but will she cooperate?”

A small girl appeared at the doorway.

“Uncle Abner, what’s this about you trying to make a cartoon? If you’re trying to do something questionable down here, my Mummy will not be pleased” she said.

“Quinn, just get that helmet on and start imagining things!” boomed Mr. Curwen.

“Are you sure bringing back Disney is a good idea?” said the girl. “From the looks of this drawing, and the machinery you’re using, you’re either trying to bring him back from the dead or you’re trying to make counterfeit money”

“What a large vocabulary the girl has” said Reggie. “What’s her name?”

“She gets those big words from her mother” grumbled Mr. Curwen. “Her name is Twyla”
“Hello there Twyla, be a good girl and put the nice helmet on” said Reggie, trying to make himself seem less threatening than Twyla’s uncle.

“Fine, I’ll put it on, but if you don’t have a tea party with me and my stuffed animals later, I’m telling Mummy what you’re doing down here” said Twyla.

“You wouldn’t…” said Mr. Curwen, “She’d never let me see you again…”

“See, he does care about me” said Twyla to Reggie.

Twyla put the helmet on, and Mr. Curwen instructed her.

“Now start imagining things” said Mr. Curwen.

“Mummy says I shouldn’t do that”

“I don’t care what your Mummy says, you’re going to imagine things, unicorns, dragons, fairies, anything!”

Twyla started imagining she was a princess in a castle, and Mr. Curwen put the drawing of Walt Disney in the scanner. He then got Reggie to work with the Flash Animator Deluxe program, and results were being achieved. A pair of feet were printing out of the giant printer, and the legs were kicking in an erratic manner.

But Twyla got distracted. At this point the paper jammed. The feet went back to their 2D form.

“I’m not blaming you for this Twyla” said Mr. Curwen. “I should have worn the helmet myself. It takes a lot of concentration to do something like this, when you’re a bit older I might show you how to do it properly”

Twyla went over to the printer and pressed a button. The rest of Walt Disney’s body printed out, in flat form.

“One day I’ll get this to work, Twyla. Then we’ll have Old Walt back again” said Mr. Curwen, as he walked off with her, to attend a tea party with stuffed teddy bears as the guests of honour.

As Twyla, Reggie, and Mr. Curwen walked away, they failed to notice the life sized print out of Disney was stirring. The cartoon person stood up, and yawned.

He looked around, and remarked: “Wait a minute, this isn’t California!”


Short Story: The Drawing Of Victoria

This is a short story of mine that was submitted to a writing contest that I did not win, which is the origin of my disgruntledness with Sydney Morning Herald judged writing contests. It is about a Life Art model who berates the artist who draws her, in a line of work where female models are expected to keep silent and still, in order to be gazed at by what is often a male artist. Here it is:

The Drawing of Victoria
By Jacob Martin

Victoria Kenneth was a young lady who worked at an art school. This art school was highly prestigious and was one of the best in the British Isles. Now Victoria was a fussy girl, and she didn’t like her job much, mainly because the only job she could get at the art school was to be a life art model. This complicated things for her, since she hardly imagined her life prospects as being a pretty girl who takes her clothes off and gets gawked at by young men of an artistic mind.

Victoria was reasonably good looking, with a rounded face, brown hair, blue eyes and a nose that didn’t look like a trumpet. For this reason young men did not complain about drawing her in the nude. That is until they discovered her personality.

Today she was due to be drawn by a new student called Geoffrey Adams, 22 years old, wore rounded glasses and had talent for drawings, but he had never drawn an undraped woman in his life. Victoria was a year older than him, and he was stuck with her as his model for the entire year, which had just started. Victoria undressed herself and lay sideways with her front facing Jeff. He got nervous, and sooner or later he noticed that he had an erection from staring at a pretty girl with her knickers off. Unfortunately for him Victoria noticed this, and she started talking to him.

“I am feeling unusually generous today, so rather than decrying you as a chauvinistic pig I will take the bulge in your pants as a compliment to my figure. My name is Victoria, and I’d like to give you a few rules about drawing me. Number One: Never draw me in a fashion that makes my thighs look fat. Number Two: Don’t stare at one part of my body for too long, I don’t like being ogled. Number Three: If you even dare to consider trying anything funny with me just because my clothes are off I will scream, thus alerting the art instructors. They would be very interested to know why you would be touching the model, and you would be slapped with a court order ensuring that you would never do life art again”

Jeff had now found out that Victoria liked to talk to the artists drawing her. He also found out that she liked to berate them too. Poor Jeff was embarrassed and stood staring at Victoria. She offered some encouragement:

“Go on! Draw me! Don’t be shy about it, by the looks of you I’m probably the only naked lady you’ll ever see. Start with my face”

Jeff started drawing her face, and carefully crafted the likeness as if he was filled with the spirit of Raphael himself.

“That’s a good boy” said Victoria. “Just go easy when you draw my eyes”

Jeff drew the pupils flawlessly, and added the eyelashes. He finished the face and moved downwards.

“I know it’s tempting, but don’t stare at my breasts too much, as it unnerves me. Draw my shoulders first”

As Jeff started the shoulders Victoria started talking again. “You better be doing this right, I want a portrait that makes me appear like Venus, but now that I’ve mentioned that, I don’t want a drawing of me that portrays me as the Venus of Willendorf!”

Jeff continued drawing her torso. He accurately drew in her chest, which was not quite as well endowed as a Playboy centerfold girl would be but not small either. Victoria was only slightly on the pudgy side, but still beautiful in her own special way. Her courtesy towards poor Jeff on the other hand was terrible, and she was demanding of him.

“Be a dear and bring me some water! I am thirsty! And an unhappy model is bad for good art to be made!”

Jeff brought Miss Victoria “We are not amused!” Kenneth some water from the studio tap and she drank it down.

“This water is terrible!” cried Victoria, as she adjusted herself slightly on the provided couch.

“Oh Vic, you’re so delightfully cruel to me!” said Jeff, as he gave her some better quality water from his canteen.

Victoria thought about what Jeff said, and she realized that Jeff was smitten for her, despite her constant badgering of the poor chap. But she needed to be sure, in case she was wrong, and an awkward situation arose.

“Have you finished my torso yet? Don’t make me late for my manicure!” she cried, trying to hurry Jeff up. But he was busy doing all the shading and tone that he needed to complete the details. He then finished, and moved on to her legs having filled in the arms.

“Remember! Don’t make my thighs look fat! And don’t misjudge the proportions on my feet!”

Jeff drew in the legs and finished for the day. Victoria put her clothes back on and looked at the end result.

“That’s actually a good likeness! You’re pretty talented!”

“You’re pretty yourself you know. I’ve never drawn nudes before, but at least they gave me the most beautiful of the models to work with”

Victoria was now completely sure Jeff was smitten for her. She replied to him, but spared him her acid tongue for a moment.

“That’s sweet of you to say. And you captured me on paper truthfully. I’ll admit I’m not really slim like the other life art models. The last chap who drew me made me look fat, and I got a bit upset, and smashed his car with a cricket bat…”

“You’re not fat, you’re just well rounded. At least you’re natural looking and curvy, I’ve seen Sarah Borough who works with my friend Tim as a life art model. I could have sworn that girl has anorexia…”

“Sometimes I hear that people don’t like the way I talk to them when they draw me. They think I’m bitchy”

“You’re bitchy in a good way, I like a girl who has wit and uses it well. I don’t mind you talking when I draw you, it’s nice to talk”

Victoria had only heard the remark that she was bitchy in a good way one other time, from her brother back when she was 16 and going through high school. She saw that Jeff was a sweet little nerd who had a promising art career ahead of him, and she was stuck doing work as a life art model to support hers. Victoria wanted to be an artist, but for now she was happy to work with someone who liked her.

“Maybe we could meet up sometime this week” said Jeff, “We could have some coffee and discuss our favorite artists. I like Da Vinci and Rubens”

“Sure I’ll meet you! How about 2:30 on Friday?”

“Sounds great” replied Jeff. He parted with Victoria and went to catch up with his friend Tim, who had just finished his life art class.

“Hey Jeff, which model did you get this year?”

“Victoria Kenneth…”

“You poor poor man. She made you get her water didn’t she? I had her as my model last year, she’s really mean. Victoria said I made her look fat! I can’t help it if she’s a little on the chubby side!”

“She’s really nice if you get to know her”

“Are you nuts? She smashed my car last year! How could you like her?”

“My friend, I think I’m going to marry her someday…”

The End

New Feature: The Short Stories of Jacob Martin

I am going to post some of my short stories on this blog to give people a taste of my work. Contrary to popular belief, not all my stories are Fantasy ones, though I mainly work in the modern Fantasy Genre.

Such works that will get put up are:

The Drawing of Victoria, which is a story of mine set in the real world,

The Rogue Reanimator, which is a story set in my imagined worlds where cartoons are real people animated by Animators and Re-Animators, slightly inspired by H.P. Lovecraft, but moreso inspired by my knowledge of animation and comics/cartooning.

More will be put up over time.

Sincerely, Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

Does "The Mad Hatter" Deserve Worker's Compensation?

I was thinking today, would The Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland get worker's compensation for being exposed to all that Mercury in his hat-making workplace, which made him Mad in the first place. And would he get such necessary compensation under the Australian Howard Government's "Work Choices" or Industrial Relations scheme?

I have been told that although The Mad Hatter would not get compensation under Work Choices, he would qualify for it in the recent past, instead of the distant past where Mercury was still used in felt hat making.

The Hat-Maker's Union would understandably be up in arms over this, today the Mad Hatter can't get compensation due to him in his mentally ill state, tomorrow, jobs in the hat making industry might be slashed to the whims of corporations. This injustice must be stopped.

Sincerely, Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Working on my Art Project: Part Three

The fact of the matter is that my Art progress has ground down to a halt due to various assignments I have to do for school subjects that are not Art related. I have an English speaking task on Gwen Harwood's poetry (it shouldn't take so many pretty words to point out the issues in the human condition) and a Society and Culture assignment where I have to compile the data I got from surveys I gave people.

However, I am, in my head, trying to come up with some new ideas for what illustrations I'm going to do. I think the character Carrie the Little Girl Changeling in my first book deserves a graphic novel illustration page that shows that she's the smartest little tyke in the land of my creation, as well as a coloured sequence of Malkalith at the student party (Malkalith is a lead character in my books, even though he only got a supporting role in my second book, he will get a chance to shine in the third one.

Meanwhile, I found the time to continue working on my "graphic prose novel" I was working on before, but not much time was found.


Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Graphic Novel Review: Watchmen

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons is one of the most important graphic novels of all time, but rather than blabbering on about how good it is, I see it as my job to inform you why such a work might appeal to you.

1: It's a comic book for adults. And it's intellectually sound in its construction too.

The world of Watchmen is constructed as an alternate reality where Richard Nixon is still the President of America, long into the 1980s, and the people are in constant fear of being bombed by the "Russkies", that is, the Russians, as this is set in the Cold War days of the Arms Race. Alan Moore's construction of this world is quite ingenious, with references to literature and films and songs everywhere, even at the end of each chapter, a quotation that the title of the chapter comes from is given. But let's not neglect Dave Gibbons's work on this opus, he gives life to Alan Moore's world in imaginative ways. The motifs of each chapter are placed in ways you don't notice at first, as they are subtle, but each placement is justified.

2: You won't feel like you're an idiot for reading it, as it deals with themes that the older reader can appreciate.

This was one of the first graphic novels in the Superhero genre that dealt with themes of the psychology of Superheroes, instead of being the perfect advocators of justice that is often seen in comics of the Golden Age of comics, and well into the Silver Age, the heroes have problems in their personalities. Rorsharch, a vigilante who wears a mask that shifts like a Rorsharch inkblot test image, employs unconventional, and often brutal, methods to gain information from people in his quest to find out who is killing the former "masked adventurers" (Superheroes) and why. The Comedian, a sexist dinosaur who is an amoral military man who began his career young, is revealed to be more than he seems on the surface, and Dr. Manhattan, a former human who has actual superpowers, but is disconnected with humanity.

3: It has a good plotline.

All up I give this Five "Smileys" out of Five.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Graphic Novel Review: The Sandman: Volume 1

Neil Gaiman gave the Nineties what it needed, a breath of life into an industry which was suffering from creative stagnation at the time. This was the Comics industry, and it was a time when the powers that be in the industry killed off Superman only to bring him back later on. However, Neil Gaiman took the concept of a long neglected Comics character and made it his own, and thus, The Sandman series was born.

The premise for The Sandman is this: The King of Dreams must change or die, and he makes his choice. I will not spoil the ending of the series, as currently, even I do not know how it ends, because I only own Volumes 1 and 3 of the series at the moment.

In the first volume, Morpheus the Dream King is captured by the self titled "Daemon King" Anthony Burgess, a 1920s occultist who is possibly a rival to the real life Aleister Crowley. And so, during Morpheus's imprisonment, he is unable to regulate sleep as usual.

The volume is a collection of linked stories, like a story about Morpheus and a Comics character named John Constantine, on a quest to reclaim the Dream King's sandbag, also included is a story arc about Doctor Destiny's plot to rule the world of Dreams, like the supervillain he is, and the first story in the series to feature Morpheus's sister Death.

In all, it is the start of one of the most important comics series in history, it was The Sandman that allowed people to see that comics were not just for children (a warning though, The Sandman series is a tad dark, but has comic relief from the horror elements), along with Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns in the 80s, it paved the way for future graphic novelists who would tell stories that were not mere spandex and supervillains fare.

I give this graphic novel Five "Dream King Helmets" out of Five.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Book Review: Train Man

Train Man by Nakano Hitori is a book of collected posts from a real internet chat network concerning the process of a young Japanese otaku (geek) into a courageous date worthy machine, beginning with his saving of a girl from a drunk on a train, and continuing in his posts about his experiences trying to ask the girl he saved out. He is helped by the chat network, and the otakus online become inspired by his metamorphosis into a man who is able to express his feelings and go out with a girl without feeling anxious or ashamed.

This is a story all geeks, nerds and the like can appreciate, as well as non-geeks/nerds who can learn just how much quality there is in such individuals if they are given a chance. Finally there is a book where a geek ends up with the girl.

I give this book Five "Benwaas" out of Five.

Documentary Review: Root of All Evil Pt. 1

Richard Dawkins, although he has every right to be an atheist, has produced one of the most, if not the most, offensive documentary I have ever seen. In Root of All Evil, he claims that religion is the fundamental evils in society today. He attempts to "prove" his argument by interviewing religious fundimentalists, instead of more tolerant religious peoples, then he claims at one point that churches are like Nazi rallies that get people addicted to the power of one person.

He also uses unflattering footage of some religious people, as well as labelling religion as a belief that is the enemy of science, all while throwing in an obscure philosophical theory about a teapot orbiting the sun.

The documentary was like a car crash, you couldn't bear to look but you couldn't drag your eyes away from the screen, as one is compelled by the intolerance of Dawkins.

I give this Two "God-botherers" out of Five.

Delayed in writing my books

My Microsoft Word is having errors again, and I can't really work on my books much because of that and the looming shadow of the HSC that destroys my leisure time, killing the opportunities I have to create...

I was starting an autobiography of sorts about myself when suddenly Word froze up. Really, writing for me is like breathing, I cannot live without it. MS Word problems are up there with failing at school and getting no job in the Worst Nightmare department.

Fortunately it seems to be working OK since I applied my Year 8 English teacher's theory that being nice to objects makes them work better. A kind word to your PC may not solve a computer crash, but with little things it's worth a shot.


Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor

Thursday, May 17, 2007

I saw a fairy. And no I'm not crazy.

I saw a fairy yesterday. It was golden and glittery, sort of sparkly, not quite like Tinkerbell at all, I think it was a male fairy too. It flew quite quickly and in five seconds it was gone. And nobody believes that I saw it, not even my mate who thinks faeries (Puck, Robin Goodfellow and Oberon etc.) might be real. Oh well...

I added Babel Fish Translator to this page

Now you can enjoy this blog in foreign languages! Babel Fish is a translator my Philosophy teacher told me about as an example of Artificial Intelligence. It's not a perfect translator but it's reasonably accurate, he told me it was the best free one on the net.

I wanted to add the HTML for the Babel Fish Translator with more features but it won't let me do that for some reason. Maybe it's the coding I'm having trouble with.


Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Getting rid of Discrimination one smile at a time...

I saw a black man who was frowning as he walked up to my bus stop. I smiled at him, and his face turned to a big grin. I feel like I've made a difference in the world, not a huge one like Bono from U2 has, but I plan to donate more smiles in the future.

Thousands of Sad Sacks and Grumpy Old Men/Women need smiles desperately, and with your help, we can bring happiness to the world, one smile at a time. Just give a smile to somebody who needs one, and both you, and the reciever of the said smile will be happier.

Disclaimer: Smile donation will not get you out of certain situations, like being caught with a mate's girlfriend/boyfriend, stealing a Harley Davidson only to be hunted down by the local Hell's Angels chapter, etc. Use smiling only as directed, if symptoms of unhappiness persist, see your doctor or health care professional.

Returning to blogging

I recently forgot what my username and password was, but I remember it now, so I can post again.

New Developments:

Currently reading Train Man by Nakano Hitori, as well as The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby. I will post about these books once I have finished reading them.

I got good reviews from my teachers at "Parent Teacher Night". My art teacher talked about how to finish work on my Art Body of Work for the HSC, whereas my English teacher talked to my Mum about how I need to prepare for the upcoming exams (I had a serious panic attack during my last English exam, I could barely breathe properly). I suffer from anxiety, hence I need lots of preparation for my exams and lots of time spent on assignments.

I completed my Christian Ministry and Leadership exam that I did not want to do, (And I mean really not want to do, not out of anxiety, but because I was forced to take up the subject in order to get the one unit extra for my HSC). Personally I think I did the best I could, even though I don't subscribe to what the Archbishop of Sydney and Moore College calls "Proper Christianity", I am an unconventional believer: I am personally terrified of God, however on some days the Lord doesn't seem as scary as John's Book of Revelation says he is. I reckon I might not pass my exam, but at this point God will not smite me for my exam responses.

The Chaser's War on Everything was great last night, the Chaser team tested the credibility of the bestseller Self Help book "The Secret" with hilarious results. Paris Hilton was also justifiably made fun of, in the "Shawskank Redemption" sketch. Considering Paris's personality, she will not last a day in jail, if she even survives the first day.

Finally in this post, my trolley bag broke beyond repair, the pull-out handle's gone to blazes. It has served me well, lest we forget this noble item of luggage. My trolley bag was close to me (usually at all times during school hours), but its passing was not as sad as I expected it to be. I knew it was breaking for at least two weeks now, however, I did not forsee it would dramatically snap at the handle like it did over a kerb.

Soon to return,

Jacob Matin, TeenAuthor.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Working on my Art Project: Part Two

I've started taking a different approach. Instead of drawing the entire page of an illustration as one layer with traditional mediums such as watercolour and pencil, I've drawn different layers of traditional medium illustrations seperately to combine them in Photoshop with a scanner.

This can be done with a scanner and traditional mediums, and is a great way to use digital mediums if you want to keep your constructed images traditional via mixed medium. You simply start by drawing the background for your illustration on one piece of paper, starting with the sky is good for outdoor backgrounds, whereas indoor backgrounds can be drawn and coloured with the appropriate walls and bricks. Then you get your foreground images scanned and Photoshopped so you can insert them onto the background. This way instead of drawing a building or a tree in a completely different and inconsistent manner, you can manipulate its size for use in multiple images.

Have fun,

Jacob Martin, TeenAuthor.

"Clueless" Review

This movie is a historically significant relic of the early 1990s, it chronicles the fashions, the culture and the emerging high school stereotypes of our age in the tale of a socialite girl who wants to set the new girl up with a popular boy, but also, in order to get better grades, she must make her teacher happy by finding a woman for him.

Also in this movie are various actors you swear you've seen before but you don't know their names or you know their names but did not know they were in this movie:

The bloke who plays "Turk" on the TV show Scrubs

The guy who was Andre The Giant's employer in The Princess Bride

The movie was enjoyable, however I was unable to see any plot in it. But the lack of real meaningful plot expresses the lack of meaningfulness in social circles within young people's subcultures.

I give it "Four Whatevers out of Five"